


cold city lights

by AStrangeDaze (TerraRising)



Series: spaces between the universe [1]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Relationship, Subways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 08:49:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14808131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerraRising/pseuds/AStrangeDaze
Summary: This was the new norm; late Thursday nights are Train Guy days.





	cold city lights

_Faster, faster, faster, almost there, made it!_

 

Seongwoo barely squeezes past the closing doors of the subway, doubling over with his hands on his knees, panting as he tried to catch his breath after sprinting up two flights of stairs and then all the way unto the platform.

 

A weary businessman glances over at him and shakes his head, muttering about how kids these days are so weak to be winded from catching a train, and two school girls heading home late from the hagwon giggles at his dishevelled appearance before returning to bend over their phones, whispering urgently.

 

Straightening up, Seongwoo smooths out the creases in his slacks and dress shirt to the best of his ability, looking around to find a seat. It’s late in the day but Seoul never rests, even though it’s almost 11 the train in still plenty full. Seongwoo walks through three carriages, skirting around people absorbed on their phones before he spots a possible seat. There’s a man around his age in casual clothing sitting beside the window in a two-seater, backpack beside him.

 

Seongwoo makes his way over trying to get the stranger’s attention without being rude but the other is looking out the window, earbuds in, lost in thought as the cold city lights whizzed past. Reaching out, he taps the man on his shoulder, mustering up a tired smile when the other turns his head to look at him.

 

The stranger stares at him, wide-eyed and startled, ripping his earbuds out with how abruptly his head jerks.

 

“I’m sorry for scaring you!” Seongwoo hurries to apologize, “I, um, I was just wondering if you could move your bag?”

 

“B-bag?”

 

Seongwoo gestures at the chair next to him wordlessly and the man scrambles to pull the bag out of the way and into his own lap.

 

“Y-yeah,” the other man nods, still looking a bit pole-axed, fingers coming up to scratch at his face briefly, bringing attention to the single beauty mark under the corner of his right eye,“Of course, sorry ‘bout that.”

 

He must have been deep in thought, Seongwoo thinks, nodding in thanks as he sits down. “Not a problem, thanks for moving it.”

 

He pulls out his phone to checks his his messaging apps, and then his e-mails. Nothing that important, just a reminder from the office administrator of the fundraiser coming up in two weeks and one of his friends from university announcing they were back in town, wondering if anyone was up for drinks. Seongwoo sends his reply quickly, noting that he was free on the weekend. The stranger keeps glancing at him in what is meant to be a surreptitious manner so Seongwoo pretends he doesn’t notice though he does open his front-facing camera to check if there was anything smudged on his face.

 

He keeps waiting for the other man to say something but he doesn’t and before he knows it, his stop pulls up and Seongwoo stands up, flashing his temporary seat mate a smile. “Thanks again, have a good night!” he calls over his shoulder as he jogs out of the train cart.

 

The other man is still staring at him when Seongwoo takes a glance back at the train pulling out of the platform. _What an odd man_ , he thinks to himself, _nice but a little odd._

 

 

* * *

 

 

Seongwoo sees him again a week later, another Thursday night after a bit of overtime in the office.

 

Seongwoo is once again wandering the train carriages looking for a seat when he spots Train Guy sitting near a window again, beat up backpack beside him. He’s wearing a snapback today, plaid shirt and ripped jeans, dozing against the window. Seongwoo makes his way over and then stopped short; he looks tired, dark circles under his eyes, and Seongwoo doesn’t have the heart to wake him. He ends up standing there feeling just a little awkward, silently clutching at the pole and weathering the tired feeling in his legs, wondering why he bothered coming over instead of finding another seat.

 

Now that Seongwoo takes the time to look at him properly instead of pretending not to notice he’s being stared at, he realizes the other guy is pretty built. Broad shoulders, muscled biceps that stand out in short sleeves even when his arms are lax. Brown hair with ends looking just a bit fried as if he’s dyed it too many times in a short period of time, skin with just the barest of summer tans. He’s good looking enough, symmetrical features and full lips; there’s a bit of wound near the corner of his mouth as if someone had punched him recently and split the delicate skin there, or if sharp incisors had chewed straight through it in a moment of anxiety.

 

The stranger jerks awake two stops later and almost smacks his head against the window when he notices Seongwoo standing there, staring. He pulls the bag off the seat while hissing, one hand coming up to hold his head.

 

“Are you okay?” Seongwoo looks at him in concern, “I’m sorry, I really didn’t meant to scare you, I just didn’t want to wake you up.”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” the stranger blushes (is he embarrassed?).

 

“Long day?” Seongwoo asks before he can stop himself.

 

The smile he gets in return is weary but bright; Train Guy’s eyes scrunch up when he smiles, it’s a nice smile, Seongwoo decides, he looks a bit like a happy puppy with that expression. “You could say that, but power naps help,” he laughs and Seongwoo can’t help but laugh too.

 

They exchange a few words; it’s kinda cute how nervous the other man is talking to Seongwoo, the way his eyes dart about Seongwoo’s face as if trying to read if he gave the right answer.

 

Turns out Train Guy works as a self-defence instructor which Seongwoo thinks is a much more interesting job than his own work. Thursdays is the day he picks up a late women’s self-defence class at a gym that his buddy owns as a favour to him. Seongwoo tells him he works as an auditor, that he used to do a bit of Taekwondo but that’s all he knows for self-defence. Seongwoo offers him one of the painkillers he carries around for his headaches when he sees Train Guy rubbing at his temple again but he declines.

 

They fall silent eventually, running out of pleasantries and Seongwoo pulls out his phone as Train Guy dozes off again with a yawn. When his phone blinks with a low battery warning, Seongwoo sighs and turns his attention to the world beyond the glass of the subway train.

 

The city spread out in front of them is vibrant, lights from skyscrapers and advertisements twinkle brighter than stars. As their train hurtles down the track along the railway on the top of bridge, Seongwoo imagines every light to be the quiet wish of a single soul, and below them there are thousands. From this far away, on this side of the glass, their brilliance seems to be dimmed, just a little colder and removed from him, and Seongwoo itches to reach out and touch each of them with his fingertips, to feel the energy blaze across his senses and tingle against his skin.

 

He spends the rest of the trip staring out the window, mesmerized by the lights and wondering why he’d never bothered to take in their beauty before. Maybe this is what always entrances his neighbour, this everyday, mundane beauty so many overlook.

 

Train Guy is still sleeping when Seongwoo gets off at his stop so he leaves with a quietly murmured goodbye that the other doesn’t hear.

 

 _Just nervous, not that odd after all_ , Seongwoo decides as he leaves this time, footsteps startlingly loud in the night. And maybe if he sees him next week, he can ask him what he likes best about the view outside the train window.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Eventually it becomes almost routine for Seongwoo to find Train Guy on Thursday nights on the way home and sit next to him. His feet will unerringly lead him three carriages over from where he boarded and Train Guy will smile and wave, lifting his bag in a way that suggests he keeps it there to save Seongwoo a seat now. They still don’t talk much and Seongwoo gets used to it, this comfortable silence between the two of them.

 

Then little by little, things change.

 

Train Guy gets a little less tense around Seongwoo.

 

It starts with Train Guy sharing a funny picture a friend sent him on his phone when Seongwoo looks at him curiously as the other laughs to himself.

 

Then one time Seongwoo can’t help but rant a little about office life and how the printer was definitely out to get him when he had an important deadline.

 

Now, if Seongwoo shows up on a day when Train Guy was really tired and asleep, he would just quietly lift the bag and sit down, keeping it in his own lap until his companion stirred and turned to him with a lazy, sleepy smile that never fails to elicit a fond smile from Seongwoo in return.

 

One time they even shared headphones when Seongwoo, peering curiously over at the other’s phone, admitted to never having heard of the band that Train Guy follows obsessively and he had freaked out before insisting Seongwoo _had_ to listen to their classic hits (he still doesn’t remember the name of the band, but they were okay).

 

It’s an easy, casual companionship that grows in this train carriage surrounded by city lights instead of stars- not quite a friendship, but still more than a passing acquaintance. This is the new norm; late Thursday nights are Train Guy days.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Autumn flies by in the blink of an eye and Winter takes over, bringing with it a foreboding chill. Seongwoo clutches a bag of still-warm carp bread as he jogs up the stairs towards the platform, heading left to stand at the entrance of _their_ carriage, humming to himself as he waits for the train to pull into the station and the doors to open.

 

Train Guy waves at him through the window, wide, friendly grin on his face and Seongwoo waves back.

 

“Hey!” he drops into the seat heavily, “Urgh, I hate the cold, I need a new jacket before I freeze to death. And gloves! My poor fingers, look, they’re all red!”

 

Train Guy just laughs as if Seongwoo’s whining is the funniest thing ever and pats him on the shoulder, “It’s only going to get worse, better get that jacket and gloves.”

 

Seongwoo just groans and warms his hands on the bag of carp bread instead. “Oh, here,” he pulls out one and then offers the bag to Train Guy, “You hungry? I bought a few from this new stall near my workplace. They’re pretty good!”

 

“Oh, thanks,” Train Guy reaches in looking a bit sheepish, “You didn’t have to get me any.”

 

Seongwoo just shrugs and bites into his own snack, “No big deal, don’t worry about it. I didn’t know what filling you’d like so I took a guess and got the red bean ones. Can’t go wrong with a classic right?”

 

“Red bean is good!” Train Guy says around a mouthful, grinning with red bean paste stuck in between his teeth, “They’re my favourite ones actually.”

 

“You do look like a red bean kind of guy,” Seongwoo muses, chewing thoughtfully.

 

Train Guy just laughs, “How does that work?”

 

“I don’t know, it was just…a feeling? That this was probably your favourite.”

 

There’s that odd look on Train Guy’s face again, the look he always wears when he’s staring just a bit too intently at Seongwoo’s face, eyes searching for something but always coming up empty. The moment passes though and they chat in between bites of the sweetbread.

 

“So, Christmas is coming up. Any plans?” Seongwoo asks, leaning back against the backrest with a tired groan.

 

“Christmas? It’s just mid-November,” the other raises an eyebrow.

 

“Well it’s not like there’s anything _that_ interesting between now and Christmas. So, plans?”

 

“Ah, I was going to go home and visit, but then my parents said they were going to come here instead so,” Train Guy shrugs, “Apartment is going to be a little cramped but we’ll manage.”

 

“Oh? Where are you from? Wait, wait, don’t tell me, let me guess……Busan?”

 

Train Guy startles for a moment, “How’d you know? I’m pretty sure my accent’s gone and I haven’t slipped into dialect around you.”

 

Seongwoo shrugs again, lips quirking in a victorious smile, “I’m just that good, let’s chalk it down to that _feeling_ , yeah?”

 

The other man stares at Seongwoo before nodding, “Fair enough. What about you? Any plans?”

 

“Eh, dinner with a few friends, a company party, same old.”

 

“Nothing with family?”

 

Seongwoo goes a little quiet at that question and Train Guy backtracks immediately, “Sorry, didn’t mean to pry.”

 

“No, no, it’s fine. It’s just,” he laughs ruefully to himself, “I don’t really have a family anymore. For as long as I can remember, it’s just been me. If I did have family I didn’t know about out there, they haven’t reached out so. Just me.”

 

Train Guy is silent now too, fists clenching and unclenching as he looks determinedly at the window and not at Seongwoo. “……sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories,” he finally says.

 

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it, you couldn’t have known.”

 

“Right,” the other man echoes hollowly, “I couldn’t have known.”

 

They spend the rest of the ride in silence before Seongwoo gets up with a wan smile, “Well, this is me. See you next week?”

 

“Yeah,” Train Guy ekes out a strained smile in return, “See you next week.”

 

Suddenly it strikes Seongwoo as kind of ridiculous that they’ve been sitting next to each other for months now and he’s never asked his name, just stuck to calling him ‘Train Guy’ in his head. He’s just practically told this guy a very abridged version of his tragic backstory after buying him food on a whim and they haven’t even bothered exchanging names.

 

“Hey!” he shouts, walking backwards out the doors, “This seems crazy to ask now, but what’s your name?”

 

Train Guy laughs, shouting his reply back and Seongwoo barely catches it over the sound of the doors hissing shut, “It’s Euigeon!”

 

“My name is Seongwoo!” he yells back though it’s unlikely Tra- Euigeon heard him as the doors were already closed and the train is leaving the station. Oh well, he’ll just have to tell him next week then.

 

Except next week when the train pulls into the station, Seongwoo walks into their carriage and a sleeping ahjusshi sits there with no Euigeon in sight.

 

He walks the entire train no matter how tired his legs are and he can’t find Euigeon anywhere.

 

 

 

Nor the next week.

 

 

 

 

Or the week after that.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Seongwoo sits by himself and stares out the window, watching the city scape flies by. It's almost funny, he never did get to ask Euigeon what he liked best about the view, though he's picked up the habit because of him.

 

But somehow, Seongwoo presses his cheek against the cool glass, eyes falling to half-mast as the lights fade into a blur, somehow the lights look a little different now.

 

Colder.

 

He exhales and watches as his breath fogs up the glass, dragging a finger through the condensation. His gaze falls on the empty seat beside him and Seongwoo curls his fingers into a fist, the leather of his new gloves creaking with the motion. Yes, everything was colder now.

 

After all, Winter was setting in, wasn’t it?

 


End file.
